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How to Look Productive

  • Tip #1: Walk fast when on campus and explain to colleagues that you cannot go out to lunch because you are busy responding to review editors’ comments on your manuscript.
  • Tip #2: Remind your colleagues how many students you teach, how many exams you have to grade, how frightfully many hours it will take you to grade them, and how grading exams really cuts down the time you can be available for scholarship, service activities, friends or family.
  • Tip #3: Send an e-mail informing your dean or colleagues that you have been invited to speak at the local *** Club or the neighboring town’s *** meeting. (whatever it means)
  • Tip #4: Bring massive amounts of work to talks by outsiders and student events, and make sure to visibly mark on documents — as if editing your own paper or making comments on student work — in full sight of everyone else in the room.
  • Tip #5: Get ticked off and behave badly at lab meetings.
  • Tip #6: Do not timely answer e-mails from anyone who may be relying on you to show up to an event, help review applications or schedule a meeting, then get huffy when the meeting takes place before you respond to the e-mail.


Dec. 5th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
В смысле - в остальных странах есть высший суд, а в Америке - нет? Если не секрет, то как называется высший суд в России, которого нет в США? Да, а противогаз на какой случай, ведь высший суд, все-таки.
Dec. 5th, 2009 09:35 pm (UTC)
Будем считать, что вы смешная
Dec. 8th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
В России вешают негров. А в США--нет, там Обамба:

- А в Сибири?..
- А в Сибири - нет, в Сибири не проживешь. В Сибири вообще никто не живет, одни только негры живут. Продуктов им туда не завозят, выпить им нечего, не говоря уж "поесть". Только один раз в год им привозят из Житомира вышитые полотенца - и негры на них вешаются...
Dec. 8th, 2009 03:45 pm (UTC)
Грустно, конечно.

Edited at 2009-12-08 03:46 pm (UTC)

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